Hey CJ! I notice here in the paper that they have proven that Libras are the most unsafe drivers! Aren't you a Libra? ~ Budge

Trust you to home in on something stupid like that Budge. ~ CJ

Well I've noticed you do get kind of wild when you get behind the wheel of your car. I just thought it was because you were blonde, but now I know it's because of your sign. ~ Budge

I'll have you know I have never in my life gotten a traffic ticket, which, I might add, is more than can be said for you. ~ CJ

Well I'm not snogging one of Arlington's finest. Maybe if I were... ~ Budge

Don't be ridiculous! I've only been seeing Frank for a few months. ~ CJ

Wait a minute! Where are you going? ~ Budge

Where do you think I'm going? I have a job. ~ CJ

But your horoscope says you should stay home today. ~ Budge

Was that horoscope cast before or after Pluto was reclassified as a non-planet? ~ CJ

Why should that matter? ~ Budge

Well, if it was cast before Pluto was reclassified, it will have to be redone because it was based partly on the position of a planet that wasn't a planet. ~ CJ

Hmmm. You've got a point. You know, that might explain your driving skills. ~ Budge

What are you talking about? ~ CJ

Well, you've never gotten a ticket because when Pluto was a planet it must have had a positive effect on your driving skills. Now that it's not a planet, you no longer are under its influence. ~ Budge

That is the biggest bunch of bull hockey I've ever heard! ~ CJ

Maybe we ought to move to New Mexico. ~ Budge

New-- Why would we want to move to New Mexico? ~ CJ

Because the New Mexico legislature is considering a bill to make Pluto a planet when it is in the sky over New Mexico. So you could still have the beneficial effects from Pluto if we lived there. ~ Budge

Tell you what. Why don't you move to New Mexico since you are so worried about it? ~ CJ

But I'm not the one who has the bad driving horoscope. ~ Budge

I've heard enough. I've got to go, or I'm going to be late. ~ CJ

You mean you're going to drive even though your horoscope says you shouldn't? ~ Budge

Not only am I going to drive, but I think I'm going to take the long way there just to show you how much bunkum this horoscope nonsense is. ~ CJ

[Sigh] I knew it would be useless to argue with you. My chart said my persuasive skills would be at their low point for the month today. Just remember that when you crash, die, and join me as a ghost, I will tell you I told you so for the rest of your death. ~ Budge

Hey CJ! Did you see the news? The Maharishi Mahash Yogi wants to build one of his Peace Centers here in Arlington! ~ Budge

The “giggling guru?” And this interests me why? ~ CJ

“Giggling guru?” CJ! This is the guy who invented Transcendental Meditation! ~ Budge

Have you ever watched this loser on TV? He giggles. A lot! ~ CJ

Fine. Mock if you like. But they’re going to have a spa and offer Vedic Health Care! Before now you had to go to Iowa to get that kind of treatment. ~ Budge

I go to my physician to get medical treatment, Budge. ~ CJ

It happens to be a science! The most thoroughly researched program in the world. It blends elements of ancient Hindu writing and mind-bending physics. ~ Budge

Your mind is bent all right if you believe in that nonsense. Have you ever looked at their so-called research? It includes any study done anywhere on the planet on the benefits of relaxation. There’s a difference between relaxation and TM, you know. ~ CJ

I have a mantra, you know. They designed a special one just for me. ~ Budge

Oh yeah? And how much did you pay for this mantra? ~ CJ

Eight hundred dollars. But that was a real bargain! They lowered the price because of my affinity for the I Ching. ~ Budge

And what is your special, one of a kind mantra, if I may ask? ~ CJ

Vishnu. ~ Budge

Vishnu? ~ CJ

Yes. Vishnu. I just sit down and focus on my mantra, and I move to a higher plain of consciousness. ~ Budge

You move to a higher plain of something, that’s for sure. ~ CJ

What was that, CJ? ~ Budge

Nothing Budge. But really, don’t you realize that Vishnu is one of the Hindu gods? There are probably a million people who have the same mantra as you. For all you know, that could have been John Lennon’s mantra. Of course, maybe that’s why they gave you such a good deal on it, because it was used. ~ CJ

I happen to think that my low blood pressure is a direct result of my TM practices. ~ Budge

Did you know that a German study found that 75% of long-term TM-ers experienced adverse health effects? And considering where you are now, I don’t think you should be bragging about the beneficial health aspects of meditation. ~ CJ

I’m where I’m at now because I got murdered, CJ. Not because I meditated. Besides, you can’t just draw any conclusions from that one study. A lot of people who are stressed out turn to TM. So you can’t blame TM if they have problems afterwards. ~ Budge

So you’re saying that people who do TM are screwed up to begin with? ~ CJ

No! That’s not what I said! ~ Budge

Well, yeah, you did Budge. However, I’ll concede that meditation may not have caused those people’s problems. But it sure didn’t help them either. ~ CJ

Okay, so you don't want to meditate. You could go there and study “Yogic Flying” there. ~ Budge

You mean sit in the lotus position, hop around and pretend to be flying like all those people used to do on TV? No thanks. ~ CJ

I’ll have you know that I happen to have achieved the art of Yogic Flying. ~ Budge

Before or after you were killed, Budge? ~ CJ

Well… after. But I was real close to it when I got shot. ~ Budge

Of course you were. Budge, I can’t believe you fall for that load of bull hockey! ~ CJ

it's not bull hockey! A lot of intelligent people follow his teachings! That's why they’re planning to build 3000 Peace Palaces worldwide! ~ Budge

Whoopee. I may do some yogic jumping up and down with glee. ~ CJ

And since we’re going to have one here in Arlington, we’ll see the benefits of the Maharishi effect. ~ Budge

The Maharishi effect? ~ CJ

Yes! Because all of the people who will be meditating here will change the fundamental, unified physical field. Those changes will radiate into society and improve all aspects of society. It might even put your lover boy out of a job. ~ Budge

I’ll tell him to polish up his resume, shall I? ~ CJ

Laugh if you like, but the Maharishi University in Iowa was responsible for a reduction in crime and accidents in the area. Not only that, but crop production increased. ~ Budge

You know, James Randi checked with the Fairfield Police Department, the Iowa Department of Ag and the DMV and found out that the data for that claim was invented. They made it up. ~ CJ

The Peace Center will also help with that homeland protection stuff. ~ Budge

What the heck are you talking about? ~ CJ

The Maharishi effect will create an invisible shield over Arlington. That shield will make us invulnerable to any kind of attack. ~ Budge

Well I feel much safer already. ~ CJ

It will be like having heaven on earth! ~ Budge

That seems to be the only way you’re going to get to heaven since you insist on sticking around and haunting me instead of dissipating or whatever it is you are supposed to do. ~ CJ

Ghost Investigating Group

Hey CJ! Did you know there is a group that investigates ghosts in Fort Worth? You ought to join! You could meet some new friends and even talk to them about me. They probably have all kinds of gadgets and stuff-- maybe they could find a way of detecting me!

Whaddya say? ~ Budge

Budge, I’ve lived my whole life avoiding the nuts and crazy people, except for my mother – but she’s family, I couldn’t avoid her. And now I’ve got you, and I can’t seem to avoid you either. So what in the world makes you think I would go to these nuts and spend time with them? ~ CJ

Aww, c’mon CJ. The only reason you thought they were nuts was because you didn’t believe in ghosts. Well now you know better. Besides, don’t you get tired of people looking at you funny when you talk to me? If you could prove I exist to someone else then maybe lover boy won’t give you one of those looks when he catches you talking to me. ~ Budge

Have you been peeking into my bedroom again Budge?~ CJ

I don’t need to peek, I can go in anytime I want to!~ Budge

I’m going to get me an exorcist if I catch you in my bedroom again! ~CJ

Don’t worry. You won’t catch me! I’m very quiet. ~Budge

A Perfect opportunity to Experiment!

Hey CJ, I've been thinking. You know, they have all kinds of nifty gadgets that can detect ghosts. Just because nobody can see me doesn't mean that a ghost hunter can't find me. Maybe you should contact one, they could bring an electromagnetic field meter—those are very sensitive you know, and might be able to locate my electromagnetic energy.

Or maybe you should try taking a picture of me and see if my orb shows up on the photo.

Of what about trying to tape record me—lots of times ghost voices will show up later in audiotapes. I could say something to Deb, for instance, and you could tape it and see if it records. Then you could play it for her. I'd say something like, "Deb, dump that loser husband of yours, nick, and find someone who deserves you."

At the very least, you ought to get a Ouija board—I'd love to see if I can make it move!~ Budge


Groan, not again. Budge I told you before that I am not going to go into the parapsychology business. I am a computer specialist. That means I am rational and use reason and logic. Something parapsychology is not. Parapsychology is illogical and irrational not to mention dumb and idiotic. And furthermore there is not a scrap of evidence for ……….damn.

OK, I’ll try a tape recorder and a picture. But no ghost hunter. And definitely no damn Ouija boards. Besides I can already talk with you, why would I need an Ouija board? My problem is getting you to shut up. ~ CJ

Oh no! My horoscopes are ruined!

I don't know what to do now that Pluto is no longer considered a planet. I mean, I know that the astrologers say that it won't change anything, and they will still consider it a planet when determining horoscopes, but I don't see how they can do that. This changes absolutely everything! Planets have certain effects on our lives that cannot be denied. But if Pluto is not a planet, then that must mean its effects are ameliorated.

Or have they always been that way? Have all the charts that have been drawn that take into account the position of Pluto been wrong? I can't believe that—my horoscopes have always been so accurate, and Pluto's position has always been a factor in my daily decisions. So do I change the way I make decisions now that it is no longer a planet? I just don't know what to do! ~ Budge

Sigh. Budge of course all of the astrology charts that used Pluto have been wrong. All astrology charts are wrong. They always have been and always will be with or without Pluto. Anything you find accurate in them is due to you reading yourself into a vague statement that can be interpreted a hundred different ways. Besides, if Pluto was so helpful in your daily decisions why did you open the door the night you got blasted into ghosthood? Now go haunt the TV for a while and let me finish up my books. I’ve got taxes due. ~ CJ

Not Sure How this Blog Thing Works Anyway

So Budge seems to think we need a blog. I don't know why but if it will keep him quiet, I'll set it up. I'll warn you though, he gets pretty long-winded. And I'd take whatever he says with a grain of salt. I won't go so far as to say he's gullible but... well, actually, he IS gullible. Okay, here's the blog. I hope he's satisfied. Now maybe I can get some sleep! ~CJ

Have you seen what color she chose for this blog? Black? Why not a happy, cheerful color. Orange would be nice. It's a happy color. Yellow's a happy color too. But no, she sticks us with black. I think she's just making a snide statement about me being dead. But I won't let her get me down. We'll have a good blog! I can tell you all about pyramid power, and ESP and the I Ching. This will be great! ~ Budge

Oh brother. I can see this is going to be worse than I thought. Just ignore all his paranormal crap, okay? And black is a perfectly good color. Orange? That just tells you that he's nuts. Enough-- I'm going to try to get some sleep. Some people have to go to work tomorrow. ~ CJ